Sunday, July 08, 2007

They Aren't Making Fairies the Way They Used To

Wasn't there a day when fairies granted wishes and so on? And of course genies and all sort of other supernatural critters. Where are they now?

I'm about to start ironing shirts. There's a big stack of short-sleeved waiting for me, and underneath that is a bunch of long-sleeved shirts that have been sitting there since the cold weather ended. We have a perfectly good ironing board and iron, all set up, and I was sure that if I waited long enough, the Ironing Fairy would do his?her?its? job. But, no. The stack just sat their, wrinkling, and finally I'm going to have to give in and do the hot and unpleasant work myself.

Same applies to the Dirty Dish Fairy. If we stack the dirty dishes in the kitchen sink and ignore them, the next morning, they're still there! That's another fairy falling down on the job.

I'm disgusted.

Don't even get me started on the Beer Supply Fairy. Lazy bastard.

10 comments:

Chris said...

You forgot the worst slacker in all of slackerdom: the Novel Fairy. I've put that ms under my pillow every freaking night -- it hasn't gotten ANY longer, or been replaced by money or anything. I mean, what the hell?

David said...

Maybe you have to put a tooth under there with it?

Which, for those of us who've lost our baby teeth, creates an upper limit on the number of novels we can finish.

Chris said...

Still, are you telling me you wouldn't consider it?

alternatefish said...

y'know, I don't think the tooth fairy actually knows if the tooth is yours or not--just beat up some little kid and take his teeth, he'll grow some new ones and you'll get your novel and everyone will be happy

:D

David said...

That's a great idea, alternatefish!

I was going to say, in response to chris, that I'd give my eye teeth, except that those were extracted ages ago. But someone else's eye teeth -- yeah!

Or milk teeth. That's much more humane.

There are a bunch of kids in our neighborhood nowadays. Most of them are nice kids, but there are few whose teeth it would be a pleasure to --

Better say no more.

Chris said...

Why, I believe we've inadvertently started some sort of diabolical cabal! How exciting!

Lahdeedah said...

I spoke to the beer fairy.

The beer fairy is not servicing your household until you remember the name of the microbrewery place in Longmont. Or at least it's location.


I need the job fairy. Anyone know where it went?

Also, I have toddlers who have lots of teeth to lose... barring employment.... lets just say it's not off the table...

David said...

It's a liquor store. I didn't mean to imply that it's a microbrewery. What was remarkable was the number of microbrew beers it carried.

I think it's in a shopping center/strip mall on the west side of Ken Pratt Blvd., near(ish) Nelson Rd. It may be at the north end of the Twin Peaks Mall, um, mall. Complex. Conglomeration.

BTW, what kind of work are you looking for? I thought you referred to computer stuff before.

Lahdeedah said...

Before, I wrote for an online roleplaying game and made up quests and 'implented content'. My area is writing, communications etc so anything in that area...

The hardest thing is I'm tech savvy, but all the tech I've done were mostly in-house programs. The other harder thing is OH NO I took a few years off when I ended up having two children rather than the normal one...

So it's a looooong looooong road to actually returning to work. I joke that I'll have published my first novel before someone gives me a break and hires me ha ha.

David said...

I hope you're looking for contract work, and not just permanent, full-time positions. Right now, there are more contracts than perm jobs in this area.

There are quite a few tech writing and marketing writing jobs, especially in and around Boulder.

I assume you're checking the local jobs page of the Society of Technical Communicators (http://www.stcrmc.org/jobs_freelance/jobline.htm). If you're not already a member of the Boulder Writers Alliance (www.bwa.org I think), you should join. Dues are cheap, and it's a good group for networking.