Saturday, November 03, 2007

Just fling the guy around

About a week ago, I was watching a Sci Fi Channel movie about vampires, titled Bloodsuckers. It was bad, which I know is redundant, but it did at least have a babe or two in it, and it was the kind of mindless eye-candy that I prefer when I'm exercising. Also, it did make a stab at dealing with the idea that there are different types of vampires, with different habits and histories, who have to be killed in different ways.

But that's all irrelevant.

In one scene, the hero is fighting a supernaturally power vampire (his former captain, with pretty revolting rotting-flesh makeup, but that's also irrelevant), and the supernaturally powerful vampire keeps pinning the human hero and then, instead of simply killing him (as the vampires standing around watching the fight keep urging him to do), picks him up and flings him across the room.

Which of course means that the hero hits a wall back first (just like a stuntman!), slides to the floor, looks dazed, shakes his head, and then recovers, without any sign of broken bones or torn or pulled muscles or tendons or ligaments or even serious bruising. And then eventually kills the vampire.

We see this all the time in movies and TV shows. The villain may be supernaturally superpowerful - e.g., a vampire - or just a humongous and heavily muscled but apparently normal human being, but he always does the same thing. He has the hero at his mercy and instead of simply killing him with his humongous strength, he picks him up and throws him across the room - knowing perfectly well, because he's seen these movies before too, that the hero will slide to the floor, look dazed, shake his head, recover, and eventually kill the supernaturally superpowerful bad guy.

It undermines my willing suspension of disbelief. Which was already on shaky grounds when I watching Bloodsuckers, even before that scene.

7 comments:

Chris said...

Granted, it doesn't do much for the suspension of disbelief, but it does make for a nice allegory for finding one an agent...

David said...

I'm assuming that the supernaturally strong and scary guy is the agent, and the hero is the scrappy writer who keeps getting flung against walls backward and getting up again and wins in the end.

But without the killing part. Instead, they become friends, and the supernaturally strong guy ceases being scary and swears to henceforth use his strength only for (the) good (of the hero).

I can live with that interpretation.

Chris said...

Am I to guess that's not how Bloodsuckers ended? Odd.

David said...

Nope. The hero killed the ex-captain after unsuccessfully appealing to his human side.

After some more bloodshed, the movie ended with a fade to black just as a lesbian love scene between the two babes, one of whom was a vampire, was just beginning.

You have to give them credit for trying hard to push various buttons.

David said...

Nope. The hero killed the ex-captain after unsuccessfully appealing to his human side.

After some more bloodshed, the movie ended with a fade to black just as a lesbian love scene between the two babes, one of whom was a vampire, was just beginning.

You have to give them credit for trying hard to push various buttons.

Lahdeedah said...

There was one space vampire movie, it was a ship in space that docked to this floating space ship they thought was deserted... it was a group of space refuse collectors... they go around collecting found old spaceships... HOWEVER it went, essentially, these people were on this big empty space ship with Dracula. But didn't know it. Until he ate a couple of them, but the thing is, there was a REAL cheesy plot twist. A plot twist so cheesy and transparent that you didn't see it coming, but when it DID come, you thought 'wow that was stupid and a waste of a good plot line'

I know, I'm talking 'plot lines' in b rated space vampire movies...

One of the crew was a descendant of Van Helsing, the original vampire slayer. He decides this means he must kill the vampire. Instead he gets killed super fast and it's some anonymous crew member and some chick, and we're supposed to be in awe that he died real fast, or amused. Instead, it was just annoying. That was the ONLY possible interesting twist... I mean, space vamp movie I know...

It was so cheesy, it's unforgettable.

David said...

That sounds like a movie very well suited to working out to.

It also sounds faintly familiar.